Enough As We Are by Rachel Simmons

Enough As We Are

Enough As We Are is a transformative course for anyone parenting a girl while still recovering from girlhood themselves.

"Enough As We Are" with Rachel Simmons is currently in session. Registration will open again in 2019.

Here's something countless moms have whispered to me, convinced they are the only one with the question:

How do I raise my daughter to be confident and kind to herself when I’m still struggling to become those things myself? 

Let’s get this out of the way first: You are most definitely not alone. 

I just came off an 11-city national tour for Enough As She Is, which Booklist called a “must-add for public libraries, school libraries, and many college collections.” I spoke to over 10,000 people from New York to San Francisco. In every city, women came to the book signing table, pressed notes into my hands, and called into radio shows. Here’s what they told me, again and again:

“You wrote this book for my daughter, but I’m the one who needs it.”

Our conversations freed me  me to share something I had kept to myself for decades: every book I write for girls is a journey in healing my own Inner Girl. Now, I’m ready to help you heal yours.

To parent our girls well, we can’t just focus on our girls. 

We also have to heal our Inner Girl. We all have wounds from our girlhoods that continue to shape our lives as women -- and now inflect our lives as parents. 

Maybe you were bullied as a girl, and now you react with an intensity you can’t control when your daughter faces even a minor friend problem. Perhaps your parents taught you that if you had nothing nice to say, you shouldn’t say it -- and now you struggle to handle your daughter’s strongest feelings. Or maybe you pursued perfection at the expense of your wellness, and now have a daughter doing the same.

Over 7 weeks of live, interactive virtual workshops, we’ll explore how our Inner Girl works the controls of our parenting. We’ll learn and practice the critical skills we need to raise girls who are strong in the face of challenge, know why they matter, and handle tough feelings -- theirs and others’ -- by becoming the role models they deserve. 

Each week, we will turn inward first. We will heal and educate ourselves -- and only then will we turn to our daughters. 

Join me in this course and learn how to...

  • Model and teach your girl skills to be brave, face the unexpected, and take her own feelings seriously. 
  • Practice the three steps of self-compassion in the face of self-criticism or failure -- and show your daughter how to do the same.
  • Smash the tyranny of Perfect Mom pressure, and learn the surprising reasons why it’s hurting your daughter.
  • Separate her stuff from your stuff -- and stop reliving your girlhood every time she has a problem.
  • Identify and confront the fears that make you reactive in your parenting.
  • Take control of your emotions when she triggers you, so you can learn to regulate your feelings and handle her challenges as your best self.  
  • Say no and set limits around social media use -- and why it matters so much for girls. 
  • Feel fluent in the messages your daughter hears from the culture about her appearance -- and be able to talk about them with her without judging her. 
  • Dispense sound friendship advice with a minimum of reactivity or judgment.  
  • Be vulnerable with other parents who understand your experience and share theirs with you. 
“Rachel Simmons is the expert on helping girls become leaders. In a world that too often tells our girls to be quiet, not assertive; deferential, not opinionated; meek, not bold; and insecure, not confident, Rachel says otherwise – and she has the advice and research to back it up.” 

—Sheryl Sandberg, COO of Facebook and founder of LeanIn.Org and OptionB.Org

Hi, I'm Rachel Simmons.

My super power is developing practical tools that help people feel braver, more resilient and less alone.

In my day job, I'm an internationally recognized author and educator. I’ve been hired to teach by Oprah Winfrey, Facebook COO Sheryl Sandberg, and companies like Google, Procter and Gamble and Soul Cycle. My groundbreaking work teaching failure resilience has been featured in The New York Times. 

My toughest job?  Parenting a girl myself. This kid schools me me daily (And for the record, she relishes thumbing her nose at my career by clamming up and refusing to talk about her feelings -- more on that later.).

People work with me because I’m smart and real, funny and vulnerable. I am rigorous in my work but don’t pretend to know everything. I crack jokes and quote Beyoncé one minute, then refer to research most people don’t have time to read in the next. I prepare like crazy, but I never read from a script. My favorite compliment after my lectures and workshops is: “Can we go out for a drink now?”

Enough As We Are is made up of…

The Six Guiding Principles of Enough As We Are:

Put your own oxygen mask on first. We have to believe we’re enough if we want our daughters to believe this, too. We owe it to our daughters to do this work first on ourselves. 
Good parenting is a combination of trusting your gut and becoming a lifelong learner, and being open to learning new skills to embrace the gaps in our guts!  Skills are like muscles: the more you flex them, the stronger you get. Failure is a feature, not a bug, of learning, and we should embrace it along the way. 
This space is for real people. We’re not faking or judging here. We’re all in this parenting thing together. We all get triggered, lose our tempers, get tired and overwhelmed. We all say and do things we’re not proud of. Parenting is humbling. No one is perfect. We are each others’ colleagues and teachers. When we see another parent struggling, instead of saying, “glad that’s not me,” we say, “that could be me.” Compassion, not judgment, is our jam.
You can’t learn to shoot a foul shot by me telling you how to do it. You have to get on the foul line and put a ball in your hands. I’m not here to lecture. Get ready to be interactive and throw yourself in the game.
What do we mean by Inner Girl? We mean the moments in our girlhood when we learned to silence our voices, avoid conflict and big feelings, and try to please everyone and do everything right. We mean the moments, years ago, when our voices were not yet strong enough to say what we are ready to verbalize today.
Having an Inner Girl doesn’t mean being weak. We are not here to degrade girls or what it means to have an Inner Girl. We are saying that there are two phases of girlhood -- the girls we are before we’re flooded with society’s pressure to give up our true selves -- the playful, creative, risk taking, speak-your-mind girl -- and the girls many of us became after hearing those messages -- when we worried about pleasing others over ourselves, stopped listening to our inner voices, feared conflict, and got scared of failing.

The Enough As We Are Curriculum

Module 1: Meet Your Inner Girl
Opens September 24, 2018
How does your Inner Girl shape you as a woman and mother today? What did you wrestle with as a girl? What did you love about who you were? How can you begin making peace with the wounds and channel your courage? In this module, we’ll begin the journey, getting to know each other and exploring the principles of the course along the way.

Module 2: Have Your Feelings (and Fears) Before They Have You
Opens October 1, 2018
Emotional intelligence -- the way you identify, express and respect your own feelings -- is crucial to success in every domain. But it’s especially key to parenting girls, who are taught to internalize their strongest feelings, please others at the expense of themselves, and avoid conflict. In this session, we’ll explore the rules about feelings your Inner Girl learned all those years ago, practice concrete ways to increase your emotional IQ and your daughter’s, and learn strategies to manage our strongest feelings when our daughters trigger us. 

Module 3: Turn Self-Criticism into Self-Compassion
Opens October 9, 2018 (Delayed for Columbus Day)
We women are notoriously self-critical, under relentless pressure to please others and always be more than we are. In this module, we’ll turn back the clock and explore what your Inner Girl learned about failure, success and self-worth. How did this shape you and your parenting today? What is “Perfect Mom” pressure and how does it undermine girls? Prepare to have your life changed by the three step practice of self-compassion, along with other concrete strategies -- drawn from Rachel’s internationally recognized “Failing Well” workshops at Smith College -- to become more resilient and less perfectionistic as women and mothers.

Module 4: Courage Boot Camp: Stop Overthinking & Face Your Fears
Opens October 15, 2018
Girls often start out brave and fearless, only learning to avoid risks once they feel pressure to please others and be perfect. What did your Inner Girl learn about facing the unknown and taking healthy risks? How comfortable are you today screwing up, and how can you get better at being brave -- for you and for your girl? In this module, you’ll continue learning strategies from Rachel’s Failing Well initiative that will help you summon your courage, fight Imposter Phenomenon and overthinking, and embrace (some kinds of) fear --  and help your daughter do the same.

Module 5: Exorcise the Ghosts of Friendships Past
Opens October 22, 2018
Which friends left you out when you were younger? Which ones broke your heart? In this module, we’ll summon the ghosts of our earliest friendships and uncover ways they may cause us to misinterpret and overreact to our daughter’s social challenges. Then you’ll learn Rachel’s most effective strategies to respond to your daughter’s friendship problems.

Module 6: Healthy Body Image in the Age of the Supergirl
Opens October 29, 2018
What messages did you internalize about your body as a girl, and how do they shape your life as a woman and mother today? In this module, we’ll practice strategies to model a healthful approach to body image, cultivate media literacy in your daughter, and respond to self-criticism.

Module 7: Digital Resilience: Set Boundaries & Raise a Wise User of Screens
Opens November 5, 2018
Saying no (and sticking with it), along with setting limits on screen use, are some of the toughest parenting challenges out there. What did you learn about boundary setting when you were a girl, and how does that shape your parenting around screens today? In this module, we’ll practice strategies to say no and follow through. You’ll also learn some of Rachel’s nationally recognized strategies to teach parents and youth to use social media wisely. 

What's included?

Video Icon 12 videos File Icon 26 files Text Icon 10 text files


Pre-Course Module: Getting Started
Walkthrough Video: Course Site and Live Call Platform
7 mins
Getting Started Handout.pdf
1.39 MB
Pre-Course Reflection Handout.pdf
255 KB
Module 1: Meet Your Inner Girl
Welcome to Module 1!
Module 1 Handouts.pdf
271 KB
Participation Guidelines.pdf
279 KB
Enough As We Are Module 1 Recording.mp4
(1h 29m 16s)
Additional Resources
Module 1 Check-In.mp4
3 mins
Module 2: Have Your Feelings (and Fears) Before They Have You
Welcome to Module 2!
Module 2 Homework.pdf
262 KB
Module 2 Handouts.pdf
312 KB
Module 2 Recording.mp4
(1h 30m 35s)
Module 2 Chat Transcript
13 KB
Additional Resources
Office Hours #1
Office Hours 1.mp4
32 mins
Module 3: Turn Self-Criticism into Self-Compassion
Welcome to Module 3!
Module 3 Homework.pdf
262 KB
Module 3 Handouts.pdf
281 KB
Handout - If I know nothing...pdf
36.6 KB
Strategies To Sit With Her Feelings.pdf
37.5 KB
Perfect Mom vs Real Mom.png
50.9 KB
Module 3 Recording.mp4
(1h 42m 17s)
Module 3 Chat Transcript
15.4 KB
Module 3 Follow Up: How To Calm Yourself Down
4 mins
Module 4: Courage Boot Camp: Stop Overthinking & Face Your Fears
Welcome to Module 4!
Module 4 Homework.pdf
252 KB
Module 4 Handouts.pdf
290 KB
Module 4 Recording.mp4
(1h 30m 54s)
Module 4 Chat Transcript.txt
9.81 KB
Module 4 Slides
259 KB
Additional Resources
Office Hours #2
Office Hours 2.mp4
31 mins
Module 5: Courage Boot Camp pt. 2: Stop Overthinking & Face Your Fears
Welcome to Module 5!
Module 5 Handouts.pdf
296 KB
Module 5 Recording.mp4
(1h 39m 07s)
Risk Buddies
Module 5 Chat Transcript
14.8 KB
Module 6: Exorcise the Ghosts of Friendships Past
Module 6 Handouts.pdf
291 KB
Module 6 Recording.mp4
(1h 23m 10s)
Module 6 Chat Transcript
8.39 KB
Module 7: Healthy Body Image in the Age of the Supergirl
Module 7 Homework.pdf
256 KB
Module 7 Handouts.pdf
285 KB
Module 7 Chat Transcript
14.1 KB
Module 7 Recording.mp4
(1h 30m 39s)
Module 8: Digital Resilience: Set Boundaries & Raise a Wise User of Screens
Module 8 Handouts.pdf
306 KB
Module 8 Homework.pdf
262 KB


What is the Enough As We Are schedule?

Enough As We Are opens September 24, 2018 and runs until November 5, 2018. 

Live teaching calls take place on Mondays from 7:30 - 9:00 pm ET, with the exception of the week of October 8 (Columbus Day). That week, the module will open on Tuesday. 

What if I can't make the live teaching call?

No worries -- Enough As We Are is designed to offer the same experience whether you're on the live call or not. All teaching calls will be recorded and posted on the course site within 24 hours. 

How much does this course cost?

You can purchase access to Enough As We Are for $299 OR make three monthly payments of $110 ($330 total). 

Is this course only for women?

Anyone is welcome take this course. You don't need to identify as female. We will be talking a lot about the "Inner Girl," but the parenting content will apply to anyone.

When can I register?

Registration for Enough As We Are will open September 10, 2018. Be sure to submit your email on this page if you want first access.

Can I take this course with a friend?

Absolutely. A core value of Enough As We Are is togetherness. We’d love to have you join with a friend. Please note that only one computer can join the live call per account, so you may need to arrange to spend Monday nights together for the next few weeks. 

Do you offer a sliding scale for payment?

We are offering registration on a sliding scale basis. To apply, please email lexi@rachelsimmons.com a copy of last year’s tax information or your most recent W2.

Enough As We Are is a transformative course for anyone parenting a girl while still recovering from girlhood themselves.